Over the course of my career, I have battled my ego. I have won some battles and learned painful lessons from losing some of those battles. I write on this topic from a place of humility as ego is something I know is inside of me. It shows up in insecurities, overcompensation, and being a know it all. Simply being aware of ego has helped me work to recognize it in myself and reduce or eliminate symptoms.
Now, why should we work to reduce our egos? In fact, our ego is how many of us have achieved what ever level of success we are currently at. The short perspective is that ego will, at some point, limit of opportunities, influence, and positive impact on the world.
Early Ego
For some, ego shows up early in our lives. I have seen it manifest itself in lack of coachability in people. By not having the ability to admit the need for help, they fail to learn and grow; many times resulting in being terminated or leaving. Additionally, I have seen this show up in people not being willing to do something they are not good at. This means they play it safe in a safe job and waste their life finding themselves many years later not happy with where they are!
Late Ego
After some successes, this ego can show itself and start to chip away at the person. In the book by Ryan Holiday, 'Ego is the Enemy' he writes about Howard Hughes. Howard had great skill and aptitude which allowed him to find great success. However, his late ego started to emerge that caused him to become paranoid, crush his marriages, and demolished his businesses! That late ego was his downfall. Ego blinded him to reality and created vulnerabilities around him. Our late ego may not be as extreme, but it can show up in our comfort and pride. Are you continuing to grow and learn? Do you see your position as higher than others?
Ways I am tackling ego...
Again, I am far from perfect here! However, I am interested in rooting out my own ego. I think about this as a need to strengthen my character and ability to love. By ensuring that my identity is not framed in the work I do or how others see me, I limit my ego manifesting itself consistently. This helps to insulate my character against actions my ego may take. From a love perspective, having the perspective that love is an action has helped. Love is not something received. Love is something given. Given even when it is not reciprocated. As success happens, love shows up differently from others. Many times people are looking to get something in return. It is important to be grounded in real love to navigate those waters!
My hope is that my journey against my ego helps you in yours. I have seen great benefits to this personal development. Certainly, I have unpacked this from a professional perspective, but ego has far reach effects to our most important relationships! Success is much more than our work. It is about a life that is fulfilled and has you waking up each morning happy and excited to live it!
Happy Living!
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